When You Came Home
by Melanie Carter
Summary: HELP ME WITH MY EXPERIMENT! Edward left once more when he returned from Voltura, but no one knows why. When he returns, Bella has a tough choice to make. Life with Edward or without...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome to chapter one of_ When You Came Home_. **

**This fic is a bit of an experiment for me, which I need your help with. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things. I need you, as a reader, to let me know what you really think. Anything. Anything at all. Love it, hate it, couldn't give a damn for it- I want it all. **

**But first, a few ground rules.**

**1. _This fic will contain short chapters - _It is NOT, I repeat NOT, a drabble fic in anyway, but chapters will be petite. And that's not going to change. Unless I try more experimenting ;)**

**2. _I'm playing with simple present -_ This could be incredibly dull. Let me know if it gets too much.**

**3. _This is for my own indulgence - _I'm trying to improve my writing, nothing else.**

**So, let's get started! I really do hope you enjoy WYCH :)**

* * *

><p><strong>When You Came Home<strong>

**Chapter One**

It has been thirteen weeks, four days, eight hours and thirty-six minutes since Edward disappeared.

One night he was here, the next he was gone. I pull my heavy bag onto my shoulder and sigh out loud. It wasn't right. He should be here.

This was the second time Edward had left me, and this time I had been tipped over the edge. I wouldn't leave the house. I wouldn't leave my room. I wouldn't leave the bed where I had last seen him lying next to me with a serene smile on his face.

Charlie had finally put his foot down, and I was being carted back off to Phoenix.

"You ready?" Charlie grumbles as he emerges from the house. I nod, and he rolls his eyes. "Get in then."

I open the squad car's door and swing my bag inside. The rest of my luggage is in the boot. Charlie had to buy me a new suitcase, as I have a few more clothes since when I had arrived. I blame Alice for that.

My mind wanders to her face. I had tried to keep my leaving secret, but of course she found out. She couldn't fight it though- to the rest of the world she was just a teenager like me.

It was odd this time that the Cullen's were still here. Last time when he left, he took his family with him. This time he seemed to have just run off by himself, leaving us all behind.

I sigh once more as Charlie climbs into the driver's seat next to me. He pauses and glances at my face.

"You know I'll miss you, right, Bells?" he asks.

"I'll miss you too, Dad," I reply, with no inflection at all. I continue staring out of the windscreen. He couldn't win me over now. Sending me away had been a step too far.

He coughs awkwardly before switching on the engine and putting the car in drive. We pull away from the house, and I take one last chance to gaze up at the window of my bedroom. How many times had he climbed through there? Too many to count.

I dip my head as I realise he'll never visit me there again.

I keep my gaze averted as Charlie speeds away down the road. I don't want to watch the trees fly past us- it feels too much like goodbye.

We turn onto the main road, and my cell phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out roughly to check the caller I.D and see Alice's number. I divert it. I can call her from Phoenix.

We drive in complete silence. I keep my eyes fixed on the dashboard, and I notice Charlie glancing sideways at me every so often.

"You can come back for holidays," he offers after a while. I think for a moment. I didn't want to come back once I'd left. There would be too many wounds left unhealed. I couldn't say this to Charlie though. I sigh softly and turn my head to him.

"That'd be nice."

He smiles, as though he actually looks forward to his shell of a daughter returning to him one day. I fight back my scoff. If he thinks a simple trip to Arizona will make me forget Edward, he is very, _very_ wrong.

We lapse back into silence. I don't like it when there's nothing to listen to- it gives me more time to think. And I've thought a lot in the past ninety-five days. All about him.

I focus instead on the sound of air whooshing around the car and the purr of the engine. It's more the clunk of the engine in the cruiser.

We turn off of the main road onto the street towards the airport. It's such a tiny airport- it only takes me to PortAngeles –then I have to catch another plane to Phoenix.

I glance up momentarily to see a Porsche speeding down the road towards us. I smile as I remember the time Edward bought one similar for Alice. She had been afraid he would take it back when I hadn't behaved myself.

As I watch it approach, I realise it _is_ Alice's car. I sit up a little straighter in my seat, wondering if she will see me.

"Bella?" Charlie asks as he clocks my suddenly change in demur. I fix my eyes on the speeding car and become convinced it is her inside. Charlie follows my gaze and scowls. "That car is going way too fast."

I ignore him.

He sighs, deciding as he is not on duty he will let it drop. He turns the steering wheel slightly though to make sure the cruiser is well out of the way. A crash at this speed would be fatal. For the two of us at least- Alice would walk away unscathed.

Maybe it wasn't her. Surely, the real Alice would have recognised the cruiser as Charlie's by now. She knew it well enough.

Just then, the Porsche swerves across the road, and I think for one horrible moment, that the driver has lost control. It swings round the side, and Charlie curses in shock. I fly forward in my seat as he slams on the brakes, and I grab hold of the door.

We rock to a halt quite suddenly, with the yellow car sideways across the road in front of us. Charlie is staring at the steering wheel in wonderment. I don't pause. I undo the seat belt faster than I ever thought possible and leap out the car.

Of course, Alice is already out and running towards me. She grabs my hands in hers a little too hard, and I wince. I am about to complain, but what she says next makes me forget everything else.

"It's Edward," she breathes. "We found him."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Let me know what you think. I know there's not much to judge right now, but I'm hoping to update again soon. Updates will probably be erratic but often. So you never know when I might pop up in your alerts ;)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: None of the chapters are going to have full titles, like in my other fics, because I don't think it's worth it. So, this chapter is inventively named "Chapter Two". Catchy, huh?**

**Thanks a bunch for all the support so far! Thinking of updating again tomorrow, if I can get my mojo on.**

**Oh yeah! I don't own Twilight, if you didn't guess already.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

"It's Edward," she says. "We've found him."

I feel the air rush out of me. He came back.

That wasn't right.

Alice said they found him not that he came back. He hadn't chosen to return. He had been _found_.

"Alice, what are you playing at?" Charlie slams the cruiser door, and I am brought back down to earth.

"Where?" I make myself say.

"The house," she replies. I stare at her for a moment. He's in Forks. I notice she doesn't offer to take me to him.

"Can someone please fill me in?" Charlie asks impatiently.

"Charlie." Alice flits over to him. "Edward came home this morning."

I watch as Charlie's eyes bug out a little, and his face grows a very deep shade of red.

"Get back in the car," he demands. "You have a plane to catch."

For a moment, I don't understand. Edward is back- there's no point in leaving now. Then I realise.

"No." I shake my head.

"Get in the car, Bella."

"I'm not going."

Charlie brings his hand down hard on the bonnet of the cruiser.

"Yes, you are, whether Edward Cullen has decided he wants to be part of your life again or not," he tells me sternly.

"Charlie." Alice soothes him softly. "Esme and Carlisle have offered to pay for a new ticket."

Two things strike me with this. First, Alice plans on taking me to see him. Secondly, she still expects me to leave. Or she plans on making me leave. No- there would always be the choice.

"We're not charity cases," Charlie mumbles.

"They only want to help Edward."

He mutters something else under his breath, which I don't catch. Alice does though, no doubt.

"Bella?" Alice questions. I realise I am yet to speak. I'm sort of having an out of body moment. It's surreal. I was on my way to the airport and now… I'm not sure what is happening.

"He wants-" I swallow hard. "He wants to see me?"

Even Charlie is engrossed with Alice's answer. Her eyes flick to him.

"No," she says, and I feel my heart falter. "But Carlisle thinks it's best for you to go."

I shake my head. It's exactly what I feared. He never planned on coming back for me- he was made to.

I walk numbly towards the cruiser.

"Let's go, Charlie." I must sound determined as Charlie doesn't complain at my use of his name. He falters, and I stop by the passenger door. "Well?"

"Maybe you should go see him, Bells," he replied meekly. I frown.

"No."

"Please, Bella." Alice rushes over to me and takes my hand. "He won't say he wants to see you, but he does. We all know he does. You know how stubborn he is."

I am ashamed of the small smile that forms on my lips. I _do_ remember that side of him…

"Half an hour," I tell Alice. "But if he doesn't ask me to stay-" I brace myself. "-I'm going home. It has to be his choice."

I had always feared he only stayed last time because he felt obliged to after I had gone to Volterra for him. I didn't want his pity this time.

"Okay." Alice smile thinly. She knows he will never ask me to stay longer. It hurts, but I have to stand my ground.

I walk over to the Porsche and raise a hand to Charlie. I am sure he is as confused as I am. I have a feeling it is going to get a lot more complicated.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Lemme know your thoughts :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for everyone who has messaged me- I really appreciate your feedback!**

**This chapter is quite short- just a warning ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

Alice is uncharacteristically quiet on the way to the Cullen house. It makes me uneasy.

When we pull up to the house, Carlisle is standing outside to greet us.

"Bella." He smiles as we walk over to him.

"Hi." I try to return his smile. I think it comes out a bit crazed. I feel a little peculiar, as though I've lost touch with the world somehow. I'm numb in a totally new way than I have been for the last few months.

Carlisle leads the two of us inside, and I realise how quiet it is. There is normally someone around to say hello to or talk to, but the Cullen house is oddly deserted.

Carlisle notices me glancing around.

"They're upstairs," he tells me.

"Right."

Suddenly, I'm itching to climb the stairs and seek him out. Carlisle senses it too.

"We should talk," he murmurs lowly, and I feel Alice slip her cold hand in mine. Before I can protest, I am being escorted into the living room and sat on the sofa. Alice sits besides me, still holding my hand, while Carlisle paces.

"Edward has changed while he's been away," he begins, and Alice squeezes my fingers gently. "They are, predominantly, physical changes, and, as of yet, I have no idea how to solve them."

As I begin to wonder what Carlisle could possibly mean, there is a loud bang from upstairs. In any other house this would be normal. In a house full of vampires it is virtually unheard of.

"What was that?" I ask, interrupting Carlisle.

"That was-" A series of bumps sound upstairs. "-Edward."

I swivel my head to face Carlisle. Surely, I must have heard him wrong.

Then, from somewhere in the house, I hear him. It's not the same as before- his voice seems lower and not as musical, but I know deep in my bones it's him.

"Bella?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, these chapters are getting ridiculously short- even by my standards! I think I like it though. What do you think? **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

It's Edward.

He's here- he's really here –and he's calling for me.

I hesitate for only a moment before I shoot from the sofa. I stumble slightly, but manage to catch myself. It's a good thing as both Alice and Carlisle seem frozen in panic for some reason.

I follow his voice out of the living room and into the hallway.

I twist, wondering where he is. Then I see him.

Edward stands at the tops of the stairs, looking down on me. He looks different for some reason, but I'm unsure how. All I know is it's _my_ Edward standing before me.

"Edward." My voice comes out as a desperate, raspy whisper.

Then I'm galloping up the stairs towards him. I'm surprised I don't trip as I leap up two steps at once.

I launch myself into his arms when I'm three steps from the top, and he catches me, stumbling slightly. I breathe deep, drinking in the feel and smell of him.

And then I freeze.

_Warmth_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the messages you've sent me. I'm really poor at replying to reviews, but I promise to try my best because I really appreciate hearing from you :)**

**For some of you, this chapter won't be too much of surprise- you're good at guessing. Others- things are about to get clearer.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

His arms hover around me. As much as I want to move- touch him, look at his face –I can't.

It's all wrong. I must be wrong. The receptors in my brains must have come loose and are giving me false readings.

Because, to me, Edward is _warm_.

So warm, in fact, that I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

Perhaps I was mistaken. Maybe it hadn't been him at the top of the stairs, and I was now standing in some stranger's arms.

"Edward," I whisper, testing the waters.

"It's me," comes the reply. I swallow loudly. I have to see his face. Maybe looking into his golden eyes I'll be able to make sense of this.

I slowly lift my eyes, trailing my gaze of his shoulder and neck. The exposed skin doesn't seem as pale as I remember. In fact, it looks positively tan.

I reach out, without thinking, and press the tops of my fingers to the base of his neck. I can't help it- I gasp when my fingers come into contact with his soft, warm skin. Where had my marble vampire gone?

I look up to his eyes, totally confused, and an even bigger shock waits there.

My Edward's glowing, yellow eyes have gone. Instead, I find a pair of emerald green ones looking down at me. For one absurd moment, I find it humorous that Edward should have green eyes- the same as he did when he was alive.

I remember him telling me once how they had been an exact replica of his mother's. Both sets were long gone now.

Only that wasn't true.

Because one set of them was watching me very closely right now.

And then it hits me.

Edward is human.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, trust me. I know what I'm doing... I think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is turning into an update-a-day fic! No wait, don't listen to a word I say because that is never going to happen. Ignore that. Let's start over...**

**Okay, pretty big news last chapter. What did you think? Because I don't know if it's something people would really go for or...? It interests me, but, you know, I want to know what you think!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

"Bella, please, trust me," he whispers as I look at him with horrified eyes. Edward is human. He's flesh and blood. I reach my hand out again and place it against his chest.

He has a heartbeat.

I think of all the times I wished I could hear his heart in his chest. Now I can, and I don't know how to feel.

I notice the rest of the Cullen's have silently slipped onto the landing and are watching us. Rosalie looks as though she could murder me- even more so than normal. Esme looks as though she would be crying if it was possible.

"Bella," Edward says again. His voice is rough and seems to catch along his throat. It still has the same tone as before, but it no longer reminds me of smooth velvet. It's so _human_.

"Are you really…" I trail off. The words "Edward" and "human" do not comply in my head.

"Yes."

I hang my head.

"How?" He looks behind me then, and I sense someone at my shoulder. I twist my head to see Carlisle hovering on the top step. "Do you know?"

"Not entirely," he replies. I know how must it irritate the good doctor.

"How about you?" I turn my head back to Edward. His face is creased in worry and pain. I don't know whether it suits his new, severe face or not.

He is no longer angular. Of course, he is still beautiful, but he's not quite Adonis anymore. There's a kink in his nose, and his eyes are a little puffy from a lack of sleep.

But his perfect mouth still remains- it's pinker now though and plusher.

"I have some theories," he murmurs and then smirks at me. My thoughts scatter. The sight of that familiar crooked grin on his face stops and restarts my heart.

I realise I am still standing with my hand over his heart. I look at where our bodies are connected and wonder why I am being so foolish.

Edward and I match. He is finally my equal. We can finally have a long, happy life together where both of us grow old and die.

I hesitate at that. Should I really be happy that Edward will die now?

I push the thought aside and focus instead on the half-formed dream in my head. We could have a normal life - no Victoria, no Volturi. We could buy a little house, get married, have a baby…

I let myself smile and instinctively incline my face to his. It has been too long since I kissed him. It should have been the first thing I did, not worry about the circumstances we were in. Edward being a human was a good thing, I was sure.

I sigh softly as I feel his breath on my cheek, and I realise, for the first time, it is genuine.

Our lips our millimetres away from each other, and I let my eyes slip shut. He's back, he's here, and he wants me. Nothing else matter for the moment.

Someone clears their throat from behind us, and Edward jerks him head away from mine.

"Bella," Alice says. "It's been half hour."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Awh, damn it, Alice!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read WYCH! For a little experiment, it's doing quite well- I am touched to the heart.**

**I just wanted to say, although this may not seem too "out there" in style, this is new for me. Everytime I sit down to write, I am fighting every natural urge I have. That sounds overly dramatic. You know what I mean.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

I glance over my shoulder to look at Alice and remember what I told her.

_"Half an hour," I tell Alice. "But if he doesn't ask me to stay-" I brace myself. "-I'm going home. It has to be his choice."_

I look back to Edward. He looks tired and drawn. My indestructible man looks weak.

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask him quietly. I wish we could have some privacy. I know the vampires would be able to hear our conversation no matter where they were in the house, but it would be nice to have the illusion we were alone.

Edward's eyes seemed to open slightly wider in disagreement. I think for one joyous moment he is going to ask me to stay.

"I need some rest." He sets his jaw stubbornly. I understand. He is dismissing me. That's fine- my mom is expecting me anyway.

I shake my head and turn on the spot.

"Could you give me a lift home?" I ask Alice, and she nods. I throw a thank you in Carlisle's direction.

It hurts. I can't help it. My chest aches at being sent away by Edward. I stumble down the stairs, and Alice glides down after me.

I would expect to feel a wave of calmness from Jasper right about now, but the relief doesn't come. Maybe he doesn't want me to feel I am welcome to come back.

When I reach the door, I hear someone chasing me down after me. Edward catches my hand and pulls me back to him. I can't get over how odd his hands feel on me.

"Please come back tomorrow," he murmurs lowly in my ear as he stands close to me. I nod my head minutely while my heart beats like crazy in my chest.

All I wanted was for him to show he still wanted me. I needed to hear from him that I wasn't the only desperate one out of the two of us.

I step back from him and turn to where Alice is standing waiting in the door. I smile slyly and walk past her to head for the car in the drive.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Slight force of hand there by Bella maybe? You sly dog...**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Disclaimer: I'm really sorry if this is badly edited, but I was grooving to Joan Jett as I did it, so there's no knowing what could have gone down!**

**Oh, yeah, and SM owns all.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

Alice drops me off outside the house and speeds off down the street. She is still worryingly quiet, and I find myself missing her excitable nature.

I let myself in and find Charlie sitting at the kitchen table. I anticipated this but roll my eyes, regardless. I walk over to the sink and pour myself a glass of water.

"I left your suitcases in the cruiser," Charlie tells me after he realises I'm not going to start the conversation. I lean against the counter and take a gulp of water.

"Right." I place the glass down. "I'll go get them in."

"You're unpacking then?" Charlie asks as I head back towards the hallway.

"It would seem so."

I slip my jacket from the hook. I will only be outside for a few moments, but it is still chilly during the day. Charlie follows me out into the hall.

"I want you to go to your mom's," he says. I stop and turn to look at him.

"Don't worry, Dad. Edward only wants to talk tomorrow. I just need my toiletries and a change of clothes," I reply. He visibly relaxes, and I bite my tongue. He could at least try to hide his disdain.

I trudge outside, leaving Charlie standing alone. It's my first moment alone since I left my bedroom earlier.

Normally, when I am alone, I let my feelings consume me. There is too much to feel today, however, and I feel detached from the world.

I can't feel a thing.

I lift both the suitcases from the boot, unsure of which one holds the items I want. I'll sort through them inside.

I carry them back in and find Charlie has vacated. He is probably in the living room, but I don't bother to check.

Instead, I head straight for my room- a room I thought I would never see again this morning. The bed has been stripped of sheets, and the walls are bare. It looks exactly like an empty room.

I set the bags down at the foot of the bed and cross the room to the window. As I watch the path below, I search deep inside of me.

I concentrate hard. There are so many reasons to be happy today, yet I don't feel pleased.

I think of how he looked today. He is so different.

Suddenly, I find the emotions I have been looking for. A tear slips down my cheek as I realise why I don't feel relief he's back.

He's not my Edward.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This is the first of two update tonight. I was going to post it seperately, but I didn't think it would be worth it, and I couldn't bring myself to merge to two chapters together.**

**So, here we go!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

I don't sleep much that night, and, when I do, I'm restless.

I feel unnerved about what I realised earlier and can't seem to settle. I know I am keeping Charlie up with all my tossing and turning.

When dawn finally breaks, I fall out of bed. I am exhausted- both mentally and physically –but I can't bear to lie in bed for a moment longer.

I find my toiletries bag and go for my daily shower. While I wash my hair, I think back over what happened yesterday for the millionth time.

I realised that no one ever explained to me exactly what happened. It makes me a little angry. I am always left in the dark with the Cullens.

I repack my bag and go down stairs for breakfast. Technically, it is a school day, but I'm supposed to be in a different state, so I'm guess I'm off the roll.

Charlie leaves for work while I force a bowl of cereal down my throat, and then I am alone.

It's going to be a long morning.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Take a breather, guys, I know that chapter was taxing, but we'll be back very soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"Tell me how it happened."

Alice picked me up just after lunchtime and brought me to the Cullen's. I had wanted to bring the Chevy, but she wouldn't let me.

"I'm not entirely sure," he replies. He was awake when I arrived but still in pyjamas. I found myself laughing at the thought of Edward sleeping.

"Well." I think of a new question. "Why did you leave my bedroom that night?"

We are sitting on his newly installed bed. It looks a little cramped in his room, but I guess it is out necessity now rather than design.

"I needed to hunt," he tells me, and I nod. It makes sense. He had starved himself in Volterra to make himself weak, and he had still been recovering.

He falls silent, and I realise he plans on saying nothing else.

"Go on."

"I was in the woods, and I met someone."

"Who?"

"A woman."

"Human or vampire?"

"Vampire. She told me she could give me what I wanted if I went with her."

I bite my lip.

"You ran off with some woman in the night? That's why you left?" I ask. I feel rage bubble in my stomach.

"I didn't run off with her," Edward begins.

"You so did!" I get up from the bed and walk away from him.

"Bella, you're being ridiculous," he scoffs as he starts to follow me across the room. I turn to face him sharply.

"I don't think I am. You tell me you left me because a mysterious woman promised you something you really wanted. What am I supposed to think?" I ask.

"Why don't you trust me?" He shakes his head, irritated now.

"You walked out on me." I emphasise each word, wondering why he can't understand what is so wrong with this.

"I never wanted to. I always planned on coming back," he replies softly. I laugh in his face.

"There was really no need- don't feel obliged to stay with me. You can run off with your lady of the night if you would like."

I am being spiteful, but I don't care. I hurt.

"I would never be unfaithful to you," he admonishes me. I can see I have offended him, but I am so angry I find I can't regret what I said.

"How would she know what you want anyway?" I ask sulkily.

He rushes over to me in his clunky, human way and presses a warm hand to my cheek.

"I told her," he murmurs. I step back from him and raise an eyebrow. "I told her I wanted to spend the rest of your life with you as the lover you deserve."

"And then?" I try to ignore the prick in my eyes.

"She turned me back." He shrugs.

"But how?"

"I don't know!" He shrugs and shakes his head. "I'm sorry- I just want to love you like I did before. It will always be you, Bella- always."

He steps forward and lifts my chin with his fingers to kiss me gently. It's weird. His lips are hot and yielding- so far removed from the marble I loved. Yet it's still Edward's kiss, and my heart still skips a beat.

He wants to be mortal. I assume that is what he's saying. He changed for me, so I wouldn't have to die for him. I break our kiss. I see a great injustice in this.

We are meant to be a team- him and me, together forever –and yet he didn't talk to me first. What did that say about us?

What about me too? What if I wanted to die for him? I wanted to be a vampire so much, and now I couldn't. It was unfair and unjust.

I second guess myself. Is this really about being immortal? Had it always been?

I steal a quick breath trying to banish my thoughts. I look up to his eyes and feel a tug in my heart, and for one horrifying second the question I never thought I would think runs through my head.

What if my love for Edward isn't enough?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This chapter was quite wordy, wasn't it? What do you think?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, or put this story on their alerts, or favourite-d it (!) It's so giddy-making to get excited about a fic and know people are getting excited about it with me. Whenever you comment like "I totally agree!" or "So this is this or that..?" I do a little happy dance. Fo real.**

**I'm going to stop the sentimental stuff now and tell you all I don't own this. In case you forgot.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>

As soon as I break our kiss, Alice tumbles into the room.

"I knew you two would make up!" she squeals excitedly. Edward smiles broadly while I dip my head.

Have we made up? I feel I am going into mourning for the immortality I have lost. Edward never planned on giving it to me anyway.

"What do you want?" Edward asks Alice. He loops an arm around my waist, and I shift uncomfortably. "What's wrong?" he asks me.

"Just-" I think up a lie "-Unaccustomed to the warmth."

Both he and Alice laugh, and I am thankful he can't read my mind. I realise he can't read anyone's mind now.

He is ordinary. I am ordinary. We will both be ordinary together for not so long as forever. The thought depresses me.

"Just wondering if you want to play chess with Jasper and I?"

"Won't you win?" I ask. She pauses for a moment.

"Yes."

I look to Edward, and he shrugs.

"Let's go see Jasper lose then."

He laces his fingers through mine and pulls me after a bouncing Alice. It's good to see she has reverted to her former self. She must have been afraid I would reject Edward yesterday.

I fight back a snort. Little did she know I was on the verge of that today.

I freeze. Was I really contemplating leaving Edward?

He turns to why I have hesitated, and I search his face. I don't want to leave him. I try to convince myself.

I think what it would be like if I left him. I could be happier with someone else. I'm not sure what happier is, but they might be better at it than Edward.

An image of me with pale skin and red eyes flits through my mind, and Alice's humming ahead of us stops abruptly.

She floats back to our sides while Edward and I continue to stare at each other.

"Bella?" she asks. Her gaze flicks between the two of us.

I open my mouth to speak. I don't know what I am going to say. I can't do this.

Thankfully, the door to Carlisle's office swings open.

"Ah." He walks over. "Just the two people I wanted to see."

He smiles, and Edward relaxes. I hadn't noticed the tension in his shoulders.

"We'll talk later," Alice excuses herself and hurries away.

I smile sheepishly at Edward. He half-smiles back. He knows something is wrong.

"Shall we go into my office?" Carlisle offers, and I nod my head.

"Sounds great."

I squeeze Edward's fingers softly, and he tightens his grip on me slightly.

This is harder than I thought it was going to be.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ...Uh-oh. I do _not_ want to be in that office when accusations start flying. Oh wait! We will be! Tomorrow... *bites nails***

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Before you start this chapter, I want you to do one thing for me. I don't care where you are- at work, on the train, sitting in bed -just please do this for me. Say this. Say it out loud. Say "I trust Melbell"**

**...You done? Good. And... remember what you just said while you read. *wince***

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve<strong>

It started with a look.

I saw him in the cafeteria, and from the moment our eyes had locked, I had known.

It is about to end with a similar stare.

We have been talking to Carlisle for over an hour. I still don't know why Edward is human.

He is looking at me with an unfathomable expression. It's playing on my last nerve, and I fantasise about walking away again.

"If this vampire is being truthful, your transformation is down to magic," Carlisle interrupts our staring match. "But that's highly doubtful."

"He can't just be alive again." I manage to keep the scoff from my voice.

"And yet I am," he smirks. I scowl.

We fall silent for a few moments and think. We have been doing a lot of thinking.

I think back over the whole time he was away. I have never felt so lost- it was worse than the first time. All those months, without even an explanation. I was- I am- devastated.

"If this whole process only took a few weeks-" I wonder aloud with an ambiguous wave of my hand. "-where were you for the next two months?"

I watch as Edward's cheeks flush.

"I was getting used to being human again," he explains. "Some parts were embarrassing."

Now I blush, though I am still angry.

"But you didn't think to let us know you were okay?" I ask.

"I-" He falters, and the room is silent again. I can feel the tension in the air. Carlisle is watching us entranced. "I didn't feel it was important," Edward admits, and I see red.

"Not important?" I spit. I jump off from my chair to stand over him. "How could you think it wasn't important?"

"I don't know," he replies, and I back off. Unwelcome tears fill my eyes.

"That's not good enough," I tell him. My chest aches.

"What did you expect me to do? You would have desperately begged me to come home!" He stands up too. "I did this for you."

I make a face.

"Please- you did it for yourself." I walk over to him so we are standing face-to-face. "Did you even think what I would want?"

"I thought you wanted to be with me."

I bite my lip. I thought that's what I wanted too.

I wanted to be with Edward forever, in every sense of the word. A tear drips down my cheek.

I don't think we can be together anymore. He's not the same. He's not a vampire.

I used to tell him I wasn't just using him for his immortality- that it was only him I wanted.

I realise now I lied.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I shake my head. "We're over."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please don't hurt me...**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you for all your support last chapter- I was so worried you would all freak out!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

I hear a gasp from somewhere in the house.

Edward is staring at me with his mouth slightly open. Carlisle looks shocked.

I drop my head to watch the floor. I am ashamed I don't feel more pain.

I am hurting- yes –but I also feel relieved. I feel free.

"Sorry," I mumble. I shake my head once and walk out of the room. Carlisle and Edward are still frozen in place.

I walk down the stairs and open the front door. I knew I should have brought the Chevy.

I sit down on the outdoor steps, wondering what to do. A few seconds later, the door behind me opens.

"Alice," I acknowledge.

"Bella." She sits down beside me on the step. It's quiet for a moment. "He's still the same Edward, you know."

I sigh and twist to face her.

"No, he's not. He's human and-"

"You fell in love with a vampire?" she guesses.

"Exactly."

We lull back into silence. I'm surprised Esme hasn't come to join us.

"He doesn't want to change back, does he?" I ask Alice.

"Carlisle did give him the choice," she replies. "But he likes being human."

I stare at the trees as the tears return.

"He's so stubborn," I mutter. Alice doesn't reply. "Would he change his mind if I was a vampire?"

Alice shifts.

"I can't change you, Bella," she tells me.

I nod, dislodging a tear.

"I know." I sigh. "I just feel let down. I wanted to be like him so bad."

"But now he's like you."

"I don't want him to be like me."

I clench my teeth together. I am being rude.

"I don't understand," Alice replies. "I thought you weren't bothered by immortality. I thought it was Edward you were doing it for. What's changed?"

"Nothing," I reply. "Nothing at all."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Urgh, this is so depressing. I miss Vampward...**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: You all took the break up so well! Proud of you! **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen<strong>

I got Charlie to pick me up in the end. Alice left me alone on the steps after a while. I was happy. I wanted to be alone.

I sit at my desk flicking through emails. There's one from Mom asking about what's happening. I reply, telling here I'll be in Phoenix within the week. There's no point to staying in Forks.

I haven't heard from any of the Cullens in two days. I don't mind. I've done months without them.

Charlie keeps asking me what happened, but I won't tell him. I think he's getting angry at my secrecy.

There is a knock at the door. I flick off the computer screen and head downstairs. Charlie is at work, so I'm home alone.

"Jacob."

Relief washes over me as I open the door. I was scared it would be Alice or Esme. Or worse- Edward.

"Bella!" He pulls me against him. I shrug him off and walk off into the house. I hear the door shut behind me. I enter the kitchen and get two glasses from the cupboard.

"I'm noticing a lack of vampire stench," Jacob says behind me.

"Yup."

I fill both glasses with water. I turn to see Jacob sitting at the table.

"It's true then?"

I drop my shoulders and sigh.

"Charlie told you."

Jacob shrugs.

"Sorry, Bella. He's worried. Did Cullen hurt you?" he asks, getting angry.

"No." I put a glass of water in front of him and take a seat. "Of course he didn't."

"Then what happened?"

I take a deep breath and stare at my glass of water. I don't want to talk about it, especially not with Jacob.

"I broke up with him."

Jacob's mouth falls open with a small plop. There is a moment's stunned silence.

"Why?" he demands.

"Because I'm better off without him," I reply. "You always said as much."

"But he was your reason to stay!"

"You're getting angry at me because I dumped the guy you despise?"

"I thought you were in love with him."

I get up to lean against the counter.

"Yeah, people change."

Jacob leaves his seat and comes over to me. He runs both his hands along to tops of my arms and searches my eyes.

"You didn't change," he tells me.

"Edward did," I reply. He looks at me a moment longer. "I can't tell you before you ask. I owe the Cullens that much."

"I understand," he murmurs as he hugs me. He's warm, and soft, and safe just as he's always been. He hasn't changed, he isn't different, he's just Jacob. My Jacob.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Don't worry! This isn't about to become a Jacob love-fest. Before you all ask ;)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: It's time to kick this story in the behind. I'm going to start updating much more regularly again, so expect to see lots of WYCH popping up in your alerts!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

It's time to go home.

My luggage is on the plane, and I'm saying my final goodbyes. I hug Alice first, who came to see me off, then Charlie.

It seems more real this time, as if I always knew I wouldn't actually leave the first time.

It's nice to see Alice. I thought she would have stayed away. She tells me Edward misses me, and I try to care. I don't. I'm heartless. I'm cruel. Call my anything you want, it won't change my decision to leave him.

He stole from me the one thing I craved more than him. I can't forgive him.

I watch as a tear rolls down Charlie's face, and he knocks it away. I give the both of them a half smile and make my way to the boarding gate. I don't look back.

The attendant checks my ticket and lets me through easy enough. Then, I'm in my seat, and we're in the air. It's only a short flight to Port Angeles, so soon I'm off again, in search of my next flight.

I feel tired. I feel the monotony in everything I do. I don't care about anything. My hair is greasy, and my face is plain.

I thought leaving Edward would release me from whatever horrible mess I had been wallowing in. It's only dragged me down deeper.

I'm cynical and sarcastic. I'm rude. I'm… depressed.

I pray for the millionth time the Arizona sun will save me. It seems doubtful.

I settle in for the long flight to Phoenix with my earphones in. I concentrate on the beats and rhythms, letting them bleed over my mind.

I shut myself off from life.

It's better this way.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: *sigh* Bye bye, Bella. **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Enjoy :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen<strong>

"Bella!"

"Mom."

I smile as she rushes up to me. She pulls me against her, and I let myself relax. We're standing at the arrivals gate, and for a brief moment I feel happy.

She is so carefree. I always think of her as a child- never fazed, never worried. I long to be like her.

We walk across the arrivals hall, and she chats animatedly to me. I half-listen.

"Where's Phil?" I ask when she pauses for breath.

"He's at home fixing dinner. He wanted to come, but I told him you wouldn't want to be crowded, and he's at much better use in the kitchen."

I nod. An "at home" would have done.

She drives me back to the house, talking at me all the way.

When we arrive, Phil emerges from the kitchen to give me a hug and welcome me home. It doesn't feel like home.

In fact, I'm a very long way from home. Home is lying in Edward's cold arms in Forks, and that's gone now.

I smile meekly at him then excuse myself to take my luggage upstairs.

My bedroom hasn't changed, thankfully, and I drop the bags in the door and flop on the bed.

Tears creep into the corners of my eyes, and I blink them back. If Mom sees I've been crying, I won't get a moments peace.

As I lie staring at the ceiling, I think of what I've left behind.

My house, my friends, my dad. My Edward.

I roll over as pain twists in my chest. He's not my Edward. He's a different Edward- one I don't want.

But that doesn't mean I can't grieve for the one I lost.

I told Charlie that sending me to Phoenix wouldn't make me forget him, and I am right. I still feel like part of me is missing, even though I know where he is now.

Because the Edward I know and love never came home. I'm still searching for him, and I'll be searching for him for the rest of my life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I suck at A/N's. I'm just not cool enough to pull them off. **

**Oh! I *will* be doing my best to reply to all your sweet messages in the next few days though. I appreciate every single one of them, but I am a forgetful Bell and don't always remember to let you know. Just know I thank my stars I have such lovely, supportive readers everytime I receive a message, and, oftentimes, I happydance.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: There will be two updates tonight but for very bad reasons. If you're a teacher, look away now.**

**I am *so* behind on some work, which is due tomorrow (yesterday, shh!) So, I'll be up at about four am to work on it. However, I'm not to best at waking up, so I'll be posting a chapter first to make sure I haul myself out of bed. Sound good, huh? I promise you all will have chapter 18 before tomorrow morning. What a promise that is!**

**Enjoy this chapter and check back soon!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

I hate when the winter comes.

On the rare occasion it rains, he is everywhere. Right after a downpour, the sun peaks out from around a cloud, and its rays make the wet ground sparkle.

I don't know how he is. I haven't spoken to any of the Cullens since I left. I haven't spoken to Charlie. I have laid my life in Forks to rest.

Yet I grieve on.

I live everyday in a trance. Mom managed to get me a job at the local store when I graduated. They keep me in the stock room. No one wants me serving them.

In the last few months at school, my old friends began calling me "dead girl". I relished the petty nickname. That is what I want to be- dead and cold and strong and beautiful.

None of them know what happened in Forks. I don't plan on telling anyone.

I look out of me bedroom window and grimace as raindrops begin to fleck against the glass. It won't rain for long, but it will be long enough.

I open the browser on my laptop and check into my emails. This is rare for me. I try my best not to communicate with the world.

It's mostly junk. I go to clear the whole folder, but one message catches my eye. I open it quickly and scan it.

_Bella,_

_I miss you. Edward told me not to contact you, but I can't help myself. He needs you, _we _need you. I know you had your reasons for leaving, but I can't believe you're really gone. Please come home._

_Alice. _

I brush away the tear on my cheek. I can't go back. As much as I long to, as much as I ache to- I can't. I feel betrayed by Edward. He is not who I thought he was at all. If I went back, it would give him hope, and that's not fair.

I take a deep breath to clear my head. It's for the best we're apart. It was never meant to be.

I hit delete.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: See YOU at 4am! **

***I feel obliged to add a disclaimer. DISCLAIMER: 4am GMT. Roughly. **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: It's 5am. Close enough ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen<strong>

The toast pops in the toaster.

"You gonna get that, kid?" asks Phil. I lift my head slightly to shake it. "Alright."

He gets up from his seat at the kitchen table to grab the toast and places it on his own plate. Mom and I are trying this new thing called "eating". It is going well for me so far.

"So," Phil begins around a mouthful of toast. "What are you doing with you day off?"

"Same things I do every time I have a day off."

"Sit in your room?"

"Sit in my room."

Phil takes a few more bites.

"You know, you can come out with me for a bit if you'd like. I got some errands to run." He smiles weakly at me. "I could do with your help."

I watch him for a moment then shake my head.

"I don't know…"

"Come on, Bella," he reasons as he sets his toast down. "It's been nine months. Your mother's getting worried. This behaviour- it isn't natural."

I drop my head. I know it's not normal. I know I should be over him now and living my life like any other nineteen year old girl. I can't fight the depression- the never ending bleakness that is life without him.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Maybe I should force myself to forget. I know I would better off that way for sure.

"Okay," I agree, my eyes still clenched shut. "I'll come."

"Great!" I can hear the smile in his voice. "I'll be leaving in about twenty minutes, okay?"

"Fine," I reply. I push myself up for the table and head to my room. I need to get changed out of sweatpants and brush my hair.

The phone begins to ring as I walk through the lounge. I wouldn't normally answer it, but I'm right next to it and as I'm trying to be good…

"I'll get it!" I call out as I grab the handset. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Mrs Renee Dwyer?" asks a voice at the other end.

"No, but this is her daughter, Isabella Swan," I reply.

"Is your father Chief Swan?"

"Yes." I am confused where this conversation is going. "Sorry, where did you say you were calling from?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Swan, but I'm a nurse at Forks Hospital. Your father was admitted last night complaining of severe chest pains. He's resting right now, but we feel it's best if either you or your mother comes at once."

I feel my fingers grow cold.

"Charlie's…" I swallow. "Is he going to be okay?"

"I can't disclose that information over the phone, miss."

I feel fear knot my stomach. I close my eyes and try to force it away.

"I'll come at once," I reply through my teeth.

"Thank you, Miss Swan. We'll let Chief Swan know."

I put the phone down with a clunk.

"Who was that, Bella?" Phil asks as he comes into the room.

"Forks Hospital," I reply numbly. "Charlie's in hospital."

"Oh my God, is he alright?"

I nod slowly and turn to face him.

"I need to see him."

Understanding dawns in Phil's eyes, and he returns my nod firmly.

And as simply as that, it's settled.

I'm going back to Forks.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And now for English work!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: It's going to get crazy soon. Just a warning. She won't shut up. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen<strong>

My palms are sweating as I walk down the quiet corridors of Forks Community Hospital.

I have been directed to intensive care, and I am suddenly nervous. At first, I had been scared and reluctant to come. Charlie was really ill, and now I was here…

Well, I don't quite know what to expect.

I find a set of double doors at the end of a long corridor. The sign above it informs me I have reached my destination.

I pause to take a few reassuring breaths, and someone emerges from the doors. My heart falters momentarily as a blond haired man scurries out.

It's not Carlisle. I breathe deep.

I summon all my courage and steal through the doors. I walk through the small waiting area towards the nurses' station.

"Hello." I approach a young nurse, who is tapping at a keyboard behind the desk. "I'm here to see Charlie Swan. I'm his daughter, Bella."

I don't know why I bother introducing myself. Everyone here knows the Chief's daughter.

I watch as pity passes briefly through the nurse's eyes, and she stands slowly.

"Right this way."

She comes out from behind the desk and leads me further into the ICU. I wonder briefly if Charlie's insurance will cover this.

We pass another work station, and I recognise one of the doctors from my own visits to the emergency room. He bobs his head to me, and I blush.

"Just here," the nurse announces as we round a corner. She opens a door to a dark room, and I peer inside. "You can go in."

"Thanks."

I step through the doorway while she waits outside. I notice Charlie lying in a bed in the centre of the room, and I bite my lip.

He looks old.

I edge over to him and take one of his clammy hands in mine.

"Dad?" I whisper.

I hear the nurse shift at the door.

"I'll give you two a minute," she tells me softly and disappears. I swallow loudly and nod to myself.

I think back to leaving my mom at the airport. She had tears in her eyes as she said goodbye to me once again, but this time we both knew I would be back in a few weeks.

"Stay safe, Bella," she told me, cupping my face in her hands. "You are stronger than you think. Remember I love you, and be brave."

I squeeze my eyes shut as a tear escapes them. I don't feel brave. I feel lost.

I hunch down next to Charlie's bed, still clinging to his hand.

I can't help but notice how thin he's got, and how frail he looks. I am scared, and I don't know what to do. If Charlie dies…

I take a deep breath and stand back up.

My dad _will_ get better, but until then I have to look after him. I can't shut myself down- he needs help, and I'm the only one he has who can give it.

I'm used to dealing with hospital staff. I know how to handle this.

If I have to lose him, at least I'll know I gave him everything I could before he went. His daughter wouldn't fail him.

I smile softly to myself as I look at his drawn face in the gloom.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I have _got_ to stop watching television while I edit. But Graham Norton is on, and he's talking to Matt Smith. How can I not? ;)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: It's Christmas is one hour and five minutes! Can you believe it? I'm expected at First Communion is thirty-five minutes, and I'm uploading fanfiction. _Can you believe it?_ **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty<strong>

"Sorry," someone murmurs from the door. "I didn't expect you to get here so quickly."

"I got the first flight," I reply as I turn to face Carlisle. He moves further into the cramped room and flips open a chart in his hand.

"He's getting better," he tells me. I pass a dubious glance over Charlie's still form. "Trust me."

I turn my head back to Carlisle. He is watching me carefully, as though he is thinking hard. I shift my weight uncomfortably.

"How's Edward?" I ask. I couldn't avoid the question. Carlisle pauses and turns his attention back to the chart.

"Fine, thank you for your concern."

He moves round the bed, checking the various machines Charlie is connected to. Each time he takes a quick note on the clipboard.

"I didn't expect you to still be in Forks." I break the silence. Carlisle stops his checks and turns to face me.

"Why is that?"

"Well-" I swallow nervously. "-Edward and Alice have graduated. I assumed it would time to move on."

"Yes," Carlisle agrees. "That is what would normally happen, but things are a little different this time."

"How?"

Carlisle sighs quietly and sets the chart down on the bed.

"Whereas the majority of my family stay frozen in time, Edward now has the ability to age. It's his decision whether he still wants to matriculate with us or forge a life- a normal, human life –alone," Carlisle pauses. "He's having difficulty deciding."

"You mean settle?" I ask.

"Yes." Carlisle picks up the clipboard again and make his last few checks.

"So why is it taking him so long to decide?"

"Edward doesn't want to leave us, but he doesn't want to leave Forks either," Carlisle explains with his head bent to the chart. "He has certain ties here that he's not ready to break. You understand, yes?"

He raises his head to smile at me briefly at the last moment. I understand. I have ties too. I was brave enough to cut the cords.

Carlisle excuses himself with another curt smile and hurries away. I think through what he said as I tuck the blankets tighter around Charlie.

I sigh loudly to myself as I land heavily in the chair in the corner of the room. I suspect I will be here for the rest of the night.

I lean forward to rest my elbows on my knees and run a hand through my hair.

One think is all too clear from what Carlisle had told me.

Edward is still hurting.

That makes two of us.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This chapter seems too rushed. I didn't want to spend too long on it, but then Carlisle seems a really difficult character to write for some reason. Which is funny because when I have written him previously he's been the most fun. Hmm, curiouser and curiouser.**

**Thanks for reading! Merry Christmas, everyone, and God bless. **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hope you have all had a lovely Christmas. Here's a little present for the Edward fans out there ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-One<strong>

Charlie is still ill.

It's been two weeks since I arrived back in Forks, and he is still in the ICU, despite Carlisle's best claims that he's getting better.

Word has no doubt spread that I am back in town, but I have seen no one. I have hidden in Charlie's house, cleaning out his store cupboard.

Now the time has come to face the town and the gossip mongers. I have to go grocery shopping.

The Chevy has long gone, so I have to walk to the store. It's not too bad, though I forgot how cold the damp air can be.

Inside the store, I begin the feel happier. Grocery shopping has always been a simple pleasure to me. It's partly why I agreed to do it every week when I first moved in with Charlie.

I see Mrs Mallory at the check out, who gives me a tight smile. I smile back, just as nicely, and disappear out of the shop.

I walk back to the house slowly. I am going to the hospital this afternoon. I go everyday, and everyday it is just as hard to see Charlie lying unconscious and struggling for breath.

I bow my head to watch the sidewalk as tears fill my eyes. I hate crying in public. I walk a little faster.

And I walk into someone.

They emerge from the bookstore just as I scurry past, and I collide with them, scattering both my shopping and theirs.

The person grunts with the force I hit them with.

"I'm so sor-" I begin as I whip my head up, but I am cut short. In front of me stands Edward- _my Edward_ –but not.

I have to remember he's not.

"Hi," he says meekly.

"Hi," I reply. We stand in silence for a moment, staring at each other. I snap out of it first. "I'm sorry. Let me help you."

I drop to the floor to gather up his bags. One item- a book –has escaped, and I quickly grab it off the wet ground.

"It's fine. I've got it," Edward murmurs as he tried to intercept me. His hand closes around my wrist, but I already have hold of the book. He sighs and let's go of me.

I glance briefly at the cover, wondering why he didn't want me to retrieve it for him.

It's a copy of "Wuthering Heights". My favorite book.

"I…" I'm not sure what to say. I look up at Edward, and he watches me carefully. I swallow loudly. "Good choice."

I slip the book into his bag and hand it to him. When I stand back up, I notice a slight blush on Edward's cheeks.

"Thanks," he mumbles, and I know he's not referring to me complimenting his reading list.

I nod and bend to grab my own bags.

"So, I'll see you around," I tell him.

"Okay."

I pause for one more brief second before I step out around him and carry on back down the street.

I practically run this time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: FFn is not my friend today. It keeps undoing my spacing! *waa*#**

**Tomorrow, there will be a present for Jacob lovers too )**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: As promised for the Jacob fans! Team Edward, look away now!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Two<strong>

"It was just so weird."

"I would have laughed in his face."

I swot Jacob playfully.

"That's not what I mean," I continue. "I mean seeing him was weird. I forgot how his face had changed. He's got quite tan skin really. I was surprised."

I twist to look at Jacob. He looks back at me with his brow creased.

"Bella, you dumped him."

"So?"

"So stop talking like you're still in love with him."

I sit up from when I had been nestled under Jacob's arm on his sofa.

"I'm not in love with him," I reply, appalled. "It's just different."

Jacob sighs and sits up.

"I know," he agrees, rubbing my back. "I understand." He pauses. "I thought I would be the one having to get used to changes."

"Meaning?"

He shifts uncomfortably beside me.

"I know you wanted to be like him," he replies. "You talk about losing _your _Edward. There was a time when I thought I was going to lose _my_ Bella. Now I'm not. And I've got keep thanking whatever voodoo magic made the bloodsucker human again for that."

I sit in stunned silence. I am mourning my lost immortality, and Jacob is celebrating it.

For a moment, it all seems clear to me. I'm never going to get what I want now, but that doesn't mean I'm not wanted elsewhere. I was always wanted, although I didn't necessarily see it.

I twist in my seat to face Jacob. He is watching his hands.

I reach out to touch his cheek furthest from me. Funny how I always wanted to burn, and now I'm touching fire.

I pull his face to look at me and trail my fingers across the scorching skin on his face and neck. Then, I lean in slowly and tilt my head upwards to place my lips on his.

I kiss him again as I take a deep breath. I turn my whole body to him. As I push against him, his hand strokes up my thigh. His fingers continue to dance round my hips before landing on my waist, and he pulls me sharply towards him.

I kick my leg over so I straddle him as he wraps both his massive hands securely around my middle.

He kissed me frantically, and I tilt my neck back from the heady rush.

His kisses don't stop. He nips and sucks along my jaw line and down my neck until his lips find the top of my breasts.

I sigh wantonly and grind my hips into his. I grab under his jaw to bring his lips back to mine.

My hands travel back down and begin to wander under his shirt. His hard stomach is hot under my palms, and I swivel my hips again.

Jacob whips his head to one side with a grunt and catches my hands.

"No, Bella," he tells me. "You're not meant for me."

"What?"

He looks me dead in the eye.

"You belong to someone else. I won't let you do this."

"But I want to. I want you."

I lean forward to kiss him again, but he shakes his head.

"No, you don't. You want Edward. I know you."

I shrug off his hands, which are still around my waist and clamber off him.

"I can't believe you just said that," I murmur as I collect myself.

"But it's true."

"It's not!" I jump up to face him. He looks at me unconvinced. "You know what? Fine. You carry on thinking I love Edward. But he's gone. It's so typical of you to change your mind when you almost finally had me."

I grab my jacket off the arm of the couch and storm towards to door.

"Bella, wait," Jacob calls after me. I continue walking and slam the door behind me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Why do my fics always result in Bella and Jacob making out? As usual, I apologise to all those out there who are horrified/scarred/feeling physically sick/never going to read my fic again. For the rest of you... same time tomorrow? :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: You're all so funny when Jacob comes to play! ;) There are too many emotions in this chapter. Like, it changes every sentence!**

**Thank you as ever for your support, guys.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Two<strong>

I am so angry as I make my way into town.

Jacob will not have me because he thinks I belong with Edward. He knows nothing. Besides, I thought he hated Edward.

Once in La Push, I wait for the only bus to Forks to arrive. I feel so foolish. I should not have kissed him.

No, I should have.

I wanted to, I just never expected Edward would be the reason he turned me down.

That is exactly it. Jacob turned me down. And it is a kick in the teeth.

The bus pulls up to the stand, and I pay my fare as I come to terms with this realisation.

I shouldn't have stormed out.

I find a seat and resolve to call Jacob as soon as I can. I think back to when Edward first came home.

I had hesitated for one brief moment. The sound of fear and rejection in Edward's voice had scared me.

I felt horrible for making me doubt him. I bet Jacob was feeling just as low.

I hadn't meant to hurt Edward.

But I have.

I have caused a lot more damage than rejecting one measly kiss. Suddenly, I am afraid. What is there is too much damage?

I am so selfish. I complain I lost Edward, but he is just the same- he lost me.

We have lost each other, and it is all my fault.

My self-centred, stubborn fault.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: HALLELUJAH! SHE'S SEEN THE LIGHT!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-four**

I numbly watch the forest fly by past the window.

How could I have been so blind? I had acted totally out of line with disregard for any but myself – especially Edward.

I check my watch quickly and realise I told the nurses I would be at the hospital by now.

I push Edward to the back of my mind and ring the bell. He isn't important right now.

I thank the driver when he pulls over and walk the short distance to the hospital. When I arrive, I am greeted by an ecstatic nurse.

"Come quick," she tells me, already hurrying down the corridor away from me. "Doctor Cullen is already with your father. We didn't think you were going to make it."

"What?" I struggle to keep up. "What's going on?"

She remains silent and walks even faster. When we reach Charlie's room, she pretty much propels me inside.

"Nice to see you, Bella," Carlisle greets me warmly from his place by the bed.

"What's going on? How is he?"

I rush to the opposite side of the cart to Carlisle.

"Shh," he soothes. "Your father is absolutely fine."

He smiles and turns his gaze quickly to Charlie's still figure. I copy and watch in awe as the corner of Charlie's eyes twitch. Then they flutter open before pulling back shut.

I look at Carlisle with my mouth open, and he smothers a laugh.

"Renee?" Charlie croaks from beside us.

"No, Dad." I lean over him and grip one of his hands. "It's me- Bella."

He attempts a smile.

"Bella," he breathes. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Dad," I tell him as I squeeze his hand. "Welcome back."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! I will also be posting a new one-shot later tonight. Please spread the word!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Updating again after what seems like forever! Things are going to start speeding up now****, so I guess you better hold on tight, spider monkeys ;)**

**Disclaimer: I own none of this. I do, however, own the lame joke I just made. Shamefully.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-five<strong>

Charlie fell asleep again almost immediately, which Carlisle told me was completely natural. I don't really care. I have seen my dad open his eyes when the odds were stacked against him. Nothing can bring me down.

Except what I find when I walk out the door.

I glance at the clock by Charlie's bed and realise how late in the day it is. Carlisle has already excused himself, so it's just me and my dad.

I admit to myself with a sigh that he will not wake up again soon. I wish he would- I've been trying to keep myself above water, but I miss him so much.

With a quick sigh, I turn my back to him and head for the door. I plan to make my way to the cafeteria and grab some food before coming back to spend the night in his room. If he wakes again tomorrow, I am determined to be there.

When I open the door and step out, I jump slightly at the sight of Edward sitting in one of the plastic chairs edging the hallway.

"Bella," he greets me as he scrambles up from the chair.

"Hey," I reply. He hesitates a moment before walking over to me.

"Carlisle says he regained consciousness?" He inclines his head to the door behind me.

"Briefly," I tell him. "But it's a good sign."

"I know," he agrees.

The same awkward silence we shared outside the bookstore reappears, and I find myself biting my lip.

"Did you want to come with me to get a drink?" I ask suddenly. "Or some food or something?" He watches me carefully for a moment. "I'm only going to the patients' cafeteria."

"Do you really want me too?" He is still scrutinizing me closely.

"Only if you want." I look away, unable to meet his hard stare. "I just thought…"

I break off midsentence. I just thought I would be friendly is what I meant to say. I think back to what I had realised earlier on the bus. I should be friendly to Edward- there is no reason why I shouldn't be.

On the other hand, the way he is looking at me is making me slightly nervous, and I don't know whether I want to spend any more time with him or not.

"I'll come," he murmurs.

"Cool," I reply, trying my best to smile at him. There is an odd moment where we both go to turn and stop. I laugh nervously and look at the ground.

"This way?" Edward asks, and I look up to see him motioning down the hall.

"Sure," I reply, and we set off together, side-by-side.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ...Awkward...**

**Lemme hear you, guys! I've missed you all muchly!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: So, this is it. Bella and Edward are going to talk. This can only go well...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Six<strong>

"You sure you don't want anything to eat?" I ask Edward as he takes a seat opposite.

"No, I'm fine," he replies. "Enjoy your soup."

I nod my thanks and unravel my cutlery from the serviette. I dip the spoon into the bowl. I don't really like soup, but it's warm and looks half decent for hospital food.

"I forget to eat sometimes," he admits quietly after a few minutes of silence. I set my spoon down.

"Really?"

"Of course. A hundred years of not eating- it's a tough habit to break." He smiles briefly, but it doesn't meet his eyes.

"But don't you feel hungry?"

"Sometimes, but often I don't realise what it is. I don't know what hunger feels like."

I lick my lips. He is watching the table, seemingly embarrassed.

"What about when you were alone- before you came back that is. I thought you said you were learning what it was to be human again." I try to keep the scorn from my voice.

He takes a deep breath and pauses. He closes his eyes, and I instantly feel bad.

"You misunderstood me," he begins quietly. "It wasn't just stuff like eating and drinking. There were other things too."

I make a noise at the back of my throat, unconvinced. His eyes shoot open, and he grabs my wrist across the table, making me jump.

"Tell me, Bella. Would you have had me when I was like a child? When I couldn't use the bathroom? When I wet myself and didn't know what was happening to me? When I fought sleep because I thought I was dying instead?"

I stare at him with my eyes wide. After a moment, he drops my wrist and turns his head away from me. I gulp and try to comprehend what he just said. I can't picture Edward that way- so oblivious and confused.

"I'm sorry," I mumble after a moment. He hisses out a sigh.

"Don't be."

It's me who reaches across the table this time. I close my fingers around his and give them a tight squeeze.

"No, listen to me, Edward. I judged you for all the wrong reasons before, and for that I am so sorry. I was being selfish, and I regret that now." I pause for a moment before I lean back. He is still facing away from me, and I can see his mouth is set in a hard line. I grab my jacket from behind me.

"Have a good evening," I say quietly before standing and walking away.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Told you it would go well! ;)**

**I have a question I would like to ask you guys. Well, more a dilemma I want to pose. Normally, with my multi-chapter fics, I post the chapter on Twilighted a few days before it makes it to FFn. However, it is becoming increasingly difficulty to upload anything there because of their apparent penchant for Firefox. My question is: is it worthwhile me updating on Twilighted any more, or is it easier for you guys if I relocate permanently and exclusively to FFn?**

**Lemme know! **


End file.
